Desired love unrequited

I want to flow in your bodily ocean
Give me the potion
Im overdosing
With doses of your spiritual energy
I know she feeling me
As i dive
Into the deepest part of her mind
And minds desire
Unlocking her fire
 while putting it out with passion
So everlasting
While Taking you beyond this world
If only you knew the feelings i had for you girl

Phoenix change

Gimme the force in which i need as i begin anew.
Rising from the ashes of my past as if i were a phoenix.
Good vibes and an embracing lifestyle change was needed.
But even better it was desired.

So im not the same person no more. But that doesn't change my past or the ashes in which i came from

i hold you dear to me.
but my change is not for you its for me
so fuck what you think
i am Anew
I am that Fire burning desire
I am the phoenix rising
Look amongst the stars and youll see me.

Damaged

     I lay in my bed and heard their screams. I couldn't see anything, I didn't want to see anything, I wish I'd never seen the results. I heard them fighting back, their feet against the floor, bodies against the walls, and falling objects that were in the rooms. I heard their cries until they were all quiet. I couldn't leave my bed until it was all over. For some reason I was protected. From who? I'm scared if you knew who they were they would come after me. After they left my home, I got out of bed, scared of what was on the other side of my door. I opened the door and...

     "You don't have to go any further," the judge said. "Thank you." I stood in court that day not knowing how to respond to any of their questions. "Why couldn't you leave your room?" "Why can't you tell us who they were?" "Why were you spared?" I just did not know what to answer. They wouldn't let me leave, I can't give their identities, I don't know why I'm still here. No answer I gave was good enough for them. They were almost pinning their murders on me since I was being kind of incoherent. After a moment the judge began talking, but I faded off into thought as the whole scene played along in my head. I came back into focus. "Our forensics team could not find any evidence of any human being on Earth other than yourself. We found your fingerprints on the weapons that seemed to be used to murder them. I don't know how you did it, if you did, but all traces lead back to you. If you give us the identities of the supposed criminals then you will be released from our custody and they will be handled and charged. We will protect you in the case..." "I told you, I just can't tell you." "You can't or you don't want to." I became frustrated, wondering how I was going to get out of this. I couldn't tell them, even if I did I would be in trouble regardless. I got this cold chill in my body and my arms were producing goose bumps. The judge began speaking again, and though he was speaking he was mute. Everything was quiet. Then, the power went out and I heard faint screams. I was gone.

     The judge sent a search out for me, but even I didn't know where I was. It was just darkness. I never saw the lights come back on. I was afraid and lost. I don't like the darkness, I can see all of my fears/paranoia. Within the dark realm where I was trapped. I could feel what couldn't really be there. I could hear voices that were mute in the light. I couldn't do anything because I was scared. I can't remember how long I was there before I saw light again. I felt safer where I was, but at the same time I was wondering why I was there in the first place.

     They were just coming home after my family's funeral. I couldn't make it, I was trapped in my own darkness. In the room, I sat on the bed, contemplating what was going on. And soon appeared the person I least expected to see again. He just stood there with a confused face, staring at me. Even though I wasn't looking at him, I knew how he felt. It was a painful awkward silence before he spoke, "How did you get in here? Where have you been? I've been blowing your phone up hoping for a reply to be honest." I just smiled, and when I looked up, he smiled too. He observed me, before I could even completely notice myself. I changed. My hair grew longer than it was a few days ago, at least I thought it was a few days ago. My skin was a lighter, paler complexion and I fancied a black dress. I did notice the dress when I appeared. I wonder, how long was I gone and what happened in that void that I can't remember? I just could not remember and it was frightening. Though, my appearance fit my mood perfectly. Before he could ask, I just looked away from him and said, "I didn't do it." He walked closer, still observing my nature trying to see if he's just being delusional. He was careful as he walked, as if he were scared of me. I felt like a stranger. "How did you get in here?" "I don't know," was all I could say, because I didn't. "What happened?" He asked daringly. "I'm scared if I tell you, one of us, if not both of us would be hurt. It's dangerous." He didn't ask another question after that. Then, I recalled someone telling me something like, my soul would travel where it feels at home, or home lies where the heart is. If I'm here because my heart is here... do I still have a heart? Does this mean I'm still alive? I felt confused and I started getting chilly again. So I grabbed his arm and tugged at him. I pulled him into me and wrapped both arms around his neck, giving him the tightest hug I could. "I missed you," I whispered. He hugged me back. I know he felt confused and didn't know how to really react, but he said, "I missed you too." With him, I felt safer, and I felt happier, so I slid off the bed and fluffed my dress. I can tell he was happy with my presence the way that he admired me. Then, his siblings came into the room to ask him a question. Normally I wouldnt be in his room, for multiple reasons from months ago, but they came into his room and walked right past me as if I wasn't even there. He looked at me and then back at them in confusion. He stopped them mid sentence and asked "You dont see her?" "See who?" They responded looking to where he was pointing. Then he stopped asking more questions and tried to stop looking at me until they left the room. I couldnt do anything but lean against the wall and wonder, "Am I dead? Why can he only see me? Is he possibly the only one who can see me?" That's when I held my hand over my chest, scared, in hoping of a heartbeat. Nothing.

     

"Love the broken" rap 💔

I should have known this from the start, I'm standing all alone trying to save my heart I'm falling off my throne, now u done shut me out and I'm feeling all alone, as displaced as i might be I'm trying to carry on, it's sadening to me, Lord I lay myself before you, please give the strength I need as as she cheats and lays down with another I'm trying to keep my sanity I should have let her know I loved her but now it's killing me now I'm standing all alone and my heart wont let me go my emotions have took control as I cried out my soul but only on the inside I must never let it show I wanted you to be mines, my forever  👑queen👑 and Ik it may seem a lil crazy, but yet I'm standing all alone with my mindset on you just thinking of you, I placed my heart and soul towards making you love me my fairytale my queen but it's not as easy as it seems i guess only In my dreams I'm wandering what now my shell has been broken as the tears start to roll down, I feel like my skin is shedding my heart has been blown to peices and shredded like confetti thinking back on the times in wich we shared, facing the basic steps that where once conceived as the basis for the trials and tribulations of our relations we where encased in. Trying to really think on the past in wich we shared , the love, and how much I really cared for you, even in your worst moments I was really there for you giving you a shoulder to cry on and more than a few times lending u an ear or two. But fuck it I'll go numb. This shell is now titanium and more explosive than ever like urainium never again will I give my heart away thats like giving someone else some yellow cake with a timer on it no trust for the these hoes slime to whoever tried me send they ass up to heaven with a light so fucking blinding and have them crash back down with reality i guess its heart break season go against it and be held in contempt for treason but either way I'm leaving i guess u can Call it fuck nigga season and this shit happens to often it's like soon as a nigga softens the world is waiting around the corner to put him in a coffin and bury him with reality but I guess that's just the way society is now a days blinding by the rays of hope ignorant to the shadows surounding and eloping around them till last minute when it drowns them but broken heart or not u will never catch me feeling again 💯

Truths of survival

Lying deep with in the stone womb trying my best not to be consumed by the madness that's surrounds me i engage into my surroundings hoping to find a light behind these misery filled faces looking for the oasis of not only mine but their soul the light of hope which has been warped and covered by darkness encasing them they are the products of a deadly environment fill with the mentality of survival by any means we are seened as the minority held to stare back and reflect in the actions of our past we survived but at what cost death still holds our card the only thing keeping us moving is not love but fear, fear of death, fear of hate, fear of loneliness, fear of the future so we push through blindly. Grinding by any means making money to provide if not for ourselves then the ones we love to take them away or keep them from the struggles of our environment we kill, steal, live, love, hate, fake, claim, bang, everything we do is rationalized by the fear of the mind, and the heart emotions cloud judgement and judgment clouds emotions the mind is set for balance I search for thines embracing light for the hope to come of tommorow night 🌙 but I fear the shadows of the night I fear the evil in man i fear the evil in me for I am no saint but I have wisdom to cast judgements and to maintain the light and shadows that dwell in me I cannot cast away my silent insecurities so i embrace them for they are apart of me each scar each fear each thought makes me who I am no one can take that away from me. So at least when I go I can say I existed but I look unto the wall's and feel the presence of those before me the pain and sorrow they felt for just and unjust actions but the pain of separations each a product of their environment poisoned by the wants and needs but mostly the fear and struggle of survival so I say fuck the system with my soul but I know no one can hear me except the lost souls and the Governers of my chain's freedom comes with the price of your soul survival comes with the price of your life. time is always ticking so live life to the fullest without all the extra bullshit survive and live to tell a story

Sincerly.
 MR. salutem t.allen

Gone From Life

    In a field of bright, colorful roses the sun sat handsomely in the sky warming all of the land. I walk through a field feeling the mushy flowers underneath my feet.
     From tall trees fell a colorful, bright material. They blew along with the breeze and crowded upon my hair. What was serious was that I was alone. In such a beautiful world, I was still seemingly depressed, until I heard a heavenly voice sing a song. The wind became cool, I thought I was alone.
     I smiled and decided to follow the wondrous tune. As I got closer the voice became more victorious, then it went completely mute. Full of curiosity I stood by a tree trunk, looking around for any clues to who was singing. I mimicked the song I heard with a light tune and wasn't aware that I remembered it only after hearing it once. It came again and I felt a devilish heat behind me. I turned around to see a glorious boy. He looked down at me with a smile on his face as if he found my curiosity amusing. He began singing a song so valuable to my heart. My once naughty soul was now lured into heaven by his beautiful song. It wasn't a cowardly gesture when I began harmonizing his lyrics. The wind was cool, I thought I was alone.
     His piercing gaze was as sharp as a knife, he grabbed my hand and pulled me close. I was actually nervous then, as he placed a red rose behind my ear, he spoke, "I'll be with you in your heart and you'll be in mine." I found him madly attractive as he held my head against his chest.

     I open my eyes to realize it was only a dream, day nine of his death. I'm in my bed at home thinking about our high-pitched voices creating an unrealistic dream. I sit back against my bedroom wall, thinking about the boy in general. My thoughts were hushed as I didn't realize until then that in front of me lay a red rose. I think of the same boy from my dreams, the one I need most, the one I want most, will I ever receive a third rose so I can tell him I love him? As tears run down my big, sorrowful face, I hold the rose to my heart and quietly sing his song. I close my screeching eyes and imagine the place of my dream. My quiet moans as he stands there and holds me.

You're My Despair

   His mountainous height over powered her every time. 

He's look down at her like she'd his baby in her prime. 

Their private moments were kept in her heart. 

He was always the one to make the first move to start. 

She tried to make his cute smile last. 

His eyes were nothing but stained glass.

He held a marvelous effect on her mood.

It went from night to day as soon as he entered the room.

He was a rebel.

She held him sane and kept him out of trouble.

He was handy and held her as long as he could.

She cried inside like he knew she would.

The statement "Opposites Attract" is agreeable.

Their love was strong, but time was feeble.

He was magnificent in stealing her heart.

He didn't realize how broken she was from the start.

 

Life became sour.

Her love for him slowly wilted like a flower.

Her shy approach.

He hid inside his coat.

The last three words she spoke

"Let Me Go"

He held a gorgeous demeanor

"No, I Can't"

Desire of the Devil

   The ride was joyous. She sat in her plus seat, gazing at the clouds through the window. Her mind finally ceased of crazy thoughts of crashing. Her ear buds were in her ear as a distraction... fail. She was only successful with the thoughts of the boy sitting in front of her. She hoped he would somehow notice her sitting behind him and speak to her. The thought of speaking to him first was very abortive. There's no telling how he would react. She felt gullible to her own defeat. Time was wasted, sitting back in her chair, staring at the clouds, and listening to music.
   His magenta sweater sleeve held a sweet scent of fresh washing liquid. She'd known that because his phone fell and slid underneath his chair; in front of her. Her mind went hysterical as he turned to face her, asking for his phone. His smile was as warm as the sun that day. She handed him his phone and her mind went taboo. What should I say? What should I do? The answer to her questions were solid as he spoke, "Hi, my name is Armand." He caught her by surprise. She made her voice sound lively as she spoke, "Julie," with a smile. He glances over at the empty seat next to her. Then, looks next to him at a hideous, smelly man. She could smell him from her seat the whole time, just didn't confront him. The slowness of her breathing was maddening as he sat next to her. He held up his phone and said, "I have been stuck on this level for a while now and I'm getting aggravated. Could you help me?" 4 Pics One Word, a game that will cause you to break your phone against a wall. She would know. She looked at the screen. Freezing penguins, ice, winter, and a girl in a coat. She tapped the word onto the screen, fingers slightly trembling. "Cold," she said, the success sounds chiming afterwards. His fingers were obese compared to hers as he gripped his phone. "Oh! Thank you!" He exclaimed.
   Her mother was an ambitious woman. The reason they were on the plane in the first place. With her job in the political field, trips across the world was held often. Julie loved it though. She got to travel and meet new people. As lovely as her mother was, she often forgot Julie was with her at time. She was always so into her work. She strutted around in her well-made business attire, proud of her place in the world. Across the way Julie could see her mother blushing among her conversation with some guy she sat next to. He was a tall, muscular guy, complete opposite of her deceased father. It was astonishing that they were both on different sides of the plane, crushing so hard. 
   Julie noticed Armand watching her. His gaze was stimulating as he said, "Is that your mother?" "Yes. You can see she's very caked up," Julie replied, taking her eyes off of her mother. His look became sulky. "What happened to your father?" Before she could speak he said, "Too much? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." "He died in a plane accident," Julie said. "I'm so sorry," he said. It was silent for a while.
   Her mother made her way over and as soon as she seen Armand she stopped, staring at him as if he was a ghost. Julie watched for a moment. Armand didn't seem to realize her staring. "Mom, what's wrong?" Julie asked, concerned. She spoke, but was voiceless. She quickly reached into her purse and went through her wallet. Her fresh leather wallet was being tormented by how roughly she handled it. She pulled out an old picture of Julie's father. Her father sat on a rosy couch, with an upset face. Julie looked, in a daze. His well-groomed appearance... looked exactly like Armand! Julie looked over at Armand who was smiling, looking at his phone. An excited amount of fear rushed through both Julie and her mother.
   Instantly, a macho looking man stood up, luring the eyes of everyone. Around his white T-shirt was a black vest with a bomb attached to the front for all eyes to see. Once a loving moment was quickly tormented by fear. Three gun shots were heard from the pilot's area. With an elastic heart, Julie watched as her mother immediately sat down next to the same guy she was flirting with. All was quiet and seated. Everything was silent until a woman with a spicy brown dress began screaming from her seat. She began the ruckus of everyone running and screaming for their lives. Julie felt noxious as she ran and sat in her mother's lap, hugging her, for it was their last hug. Another pair of arms wrapped around them. With his fancy white, polo shirt, Armand was in tears. "I've been waiting for you," he said, softly, but enough for us to hear. A rude interruption involved the macho man as he yelled, for every voice to hear, "FOR HIM I SERVED AND SOLD MY SOUL."
   It was the desire of the Devil.

Deserted Memories

As I dream I try to think of happiness, but happiness turns to sorrow. Sorrow turns into pain and agony. I can't take it anymore, I want to be able to step out of the box and reveal to the world that I am here. I want to reach heights unseen, but my life is like a sad tune played over and over again on a record. It's insanity. Life was not meant to be this dull, but if I'm scene I can't be seen drenched in a red lake. Allowing myself to be seen is a death wish to my heart, even though YOLO might be true. Living your life to the fullest is a choice, and a choice that can kill you. I am not timid nor am I meek, but emotional. Do not advance to me like a sap even though I'm fully aware that's what I am. You can call me outgoing, but truthfully I'm shy. The sorrowful tune is manifested in my life. It is a part of me and I accept it. I dream of a place where I am no longer separated, where I am seen as a jewel rather than the rust on a blade drenched in the tears of my heart and the streams of my veins. I tried to escape this world, but I'm drawn back by a family that's not mine. Why couldn't they let me fade away? I only needed a few more minutes. I try to look onto their faces and glimpse. My family view of my exit option, but instead of seeing their faces I begin to see my eyes shut as I pass out. My mind is taken back within the dreamland I can't take it anymore. I try to scream, but words turn into silence as I am surrounded by the memories of my past. I decide to sit and view my sad and happy memories and as I sit there in silence, watching my memories as they pass, I notice my happiest memory is when I was sitting with my family, playing games with my younger sister. Then my worst memories start to come before my eyes and I break down, tears begin to stream down my eyes. I saw one of my worst memories from when I was five years old. My mother and father had taken me outside to the park and we had sat down on the swings. They asked me if I loved them. I said, "yes," and they told me I was not their son. My shock led to my tears then they said that I was going into def-ax custody like I knew what that was. Then they told me that I was not allowed to see or contact my sister or them anymore. A piece of me had died in that moment and just as my next memory was about to show I felt a pulse and heard my sisters voice. I called back and I had awaken to see myself in a hospital bed surrounded by everyone. I knew, except that family, my despair continues. Why me? I look unto the worried faces and I see how I'm still loved, but my mind is still made up from that day. I never want to see those memories again. So I shroud them with my insecurities and Id rather live than die and remember those memories.

Broken To Pieces

Her wary notions became vile. She threw the furry, blue pillow at the ceiling fan. The chilly breeze sent multiple feathers down with it. She had joy in her juvenile ways. She wasn’t one too finicky about getting into trouble. Her eyes lay upon the vase, sitting on its throne so nonchalant. With damp eyes she pushed her worries to the back of her mind. The pixel, framed picture of Daffy sat on the wall behind. The floor was bloody from the drippings of her wrist. The carpet lay disgusted as the sheer color of red took over. The once rapid spinning fan hung still. All noise was shut silent. The vase sat cooperative as of not running. The colors of the flowery flowers were the brightest things in the room. The curvy vase was as fine as a dime. Her arm abandoned her mind as it slowly reached out. It was warm. By an index finger it slid across. The wonderful height was enough to send it crashing down. The vase. It was lying on the ground in pieces. Her wary notions wasn’t fair. It was fine. Her revenge was enough. She wanted them to feel the way she felt.

The Distance Between Us

I fell in love with a friend, but she doesn't know it. I try to keep a friendly relationship between us for she is my best friend. My love for her exceeds all boundaries, but I keep my emotions a secret, for I am afraid to admit my feelings to her. The doubt in my mind surrounds my insecurities and emasculates my confidence. But most of all I'm afraid to hurt her feelings. For most of my life I have never stayed faithful. I have loved, but I have kept a rule to make sure that my feelings wont progress beyond lustful intentions. My actions prevents ongoing relationships and I can not bare the pain of hurting her feelings, but it ails me to keep the truth hidden, so I chose my only option (the separation of my heart) for her happiness. I sacrifice my love. I hold true to helping her view happiness from a distance.

The Curiosity For Love

   With a bitter tongue she dropped her bike down on the sidewalk. The move was most idiotic, but she had to take a chance. The occurrence would only be on her mind temporarily. The wind began whispering 'Don't do it' as she furthered her steps onto his driveway. It was a ludicrous idea, but she could never know the results if she didn't try. Her simplistic move was to just do it and apologize if he didn't like it. Her adventurous heart began to take control. No scientific equation could predict the outcome of the moment.
   She became for panicky the closer she came to the front door. Abiding by her own promises, she kept forward. She was anxious and scared. her once coordinated steps were broken. She was too overconfident. The juicy taste of apple still lingered on her tongue. He wouldn't like the taste anyway. Once brave, she slowly made her way back to her bike. What was I thinking? Two flowers sat useless by the mailbox. They were crushed beneath her feet. Love is overrated. The chap-stick she pressed between her lips spelled 'Yummy'. A kiss so delicious.
   An enormous thud was heard behind her. Her body jumped and she turned around. She was gifted with the sight of him. He walked toward her. He was standing so close to her she could smell the mint of his breath. His hair was disheveled as if he had just woken up. His actions were so outgoing it had taken her by surprise. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. His clothes were pressed and tidy. She could smell the fresh scent of some kind of washing detergent. His futuristic eyes held a look so out of space. She stared at him blankly. She was Ill-formed of what was occurring as he leaned over and kissed her. A dream she once thought was so pathetic.

Raging Colors

The world is full of many, different colors, its primary color being blue, which surrounds the Earth's sky and water. Everywhere you go, you will see different colors, not one will be the same as the other, one will be lighter than the other and one will be darker than the other. You will see every color throughout the world. On rainy and cloudy days, the sky is gray, surrounded by depressing clouds. When the day goes by, turning into the evening, the sky will become a mixture of colors raging from pink, purple and orange. Then, when the day turns to night, the sky will either become a navy blue or an eerie black, looking like the void itself ready to swallow the Earth whole.   

Pieces Of Hurt

His unique features lured her to him in an instance. His cologne became vacuous as they kissed to tease. Her sister stood on the top of the staircase aloof, watching. Home is precious, and he was her precious.
Her deodorant was becoming defective. "I'll be back." As a vast majority of the couch became clear, it was soon to be filled by her sister. She walked ahead in her skimpy outfit. Three steps to look away. Her tan fingers grazed the back of his neck. A teeny-tiny second went by before he pushed her away. A vengeful red flashed into her eyes as she laughed and lunged on top of him. Her spotless face grazed the side of his. "Stop!" His intentions were good, but were unnoticed.
She turned the corner with a bright smile lit on her face. It soon died as she saw her greedy sister and her boyfriend together. Seeing her cooing at her boyfriend brought rage. Her violet shirt tore as she rose in height. Her features tough, she let out a scornful roar. Her sister was lucky enough to dodge her first attack. She lay a deep cut into the heart of her boyfriend. Soon his face went pale as his body lay over, lifeless. Her sister caught the second-hand effect as blood splayed on her face. Her heart was sick and she knew it.
The tears on her sister's face was exciting. It's ashamed how her life had to end.

Splendid Blue

A beautiful sunny and peaceful October morning, the crispy autumn breeze blew her long, 

silky black hair, glistening in the sunlight's rays above clear skies. Along-side her stood her one 

and only son who had the same silky black as his mother, but looks of the father, who is no 

longer with them. They walk hand in hand through the not so packed park, covered in orange, 

yellow, red, and brown leaves, making the scenery look like a well painted painting. Their day 

continued on, with the clear blue sky eventually turning orange and pink, to a full dark blue, 

not a cloud in sight; the stars covering the midnight sky showed a figure watching down on his 

wife and little boy.

The Star Gazer

I can see the flowers blooming in the distance, but I keep my distance from the beauties of spring. For my black finger desecrates the beauty of natures wonders. I look unto its beauty yearning to touch it, to just feel the life surrounding me for I am envious of humanity for I can't experience the beauty of life, for I'm it's reaper, I'm the ferry man and the guider of these lost souls. I have never experienced the sensations of life for it is nothing more than a means to an end. I have no heart beat for I am a soulless being. I am divine and yet there's still a curse. My life is not of my own will. I can only accept the rolls of the given and assured for I am a puppet of high caliber. There is no will. If the world is the sun, I am the eclipse. I'm your end, but yet your beginning to the truth for those who seek. I am bad luck. I am the black cat. I hunt, but not for my own benefit. I'm held by the bell of my collar for I am alone in this world. I am refused my yearn for life. I can't even touch a flower so delicate and sweet for all I touch decays. It is my curse, but I want to feel alive. I want to feel the summer's air. I want to experience emotions other than pain and despair. I'm  an angel of death for my heart is black and my will is divine. I seek to be able to see the bright light of the world so as I stare unto the moon wondering what I'm imagining of a better life. I imagine shooting for the moon, but my wishes will not be met. I try to land on the stars, but I miss and come crashing down to earth. My wings are gone. I am no longer divine. I thought my wish had fallen on deaf ears, but I see now I am still watched over so I accept my lifestyle. I am free. I have fallen among the world and its clouds are my pillow, the people, I am free.

Bloody Blossoms

A beautiful Spring day, cherry blossoms blooming in the early morning sun. It`s sparkling 

pink petals glistening in sunlight showing the people it`s awesome glory. Nothing can deter its 

beauty from the world; no rain, no sunlight and not even hell itself, but besides nature, is 

humanity. Some humans are so ignorant to everything going on around them, so oblivious. 

Sadly, the Sakura blossoms start to wither and grow weak, instead of seeing a dull pink, you

will see a deadly bloody red.

Silent Sea

  The boat continued hissing above the water. His arms was wrapped around her waist as she pushed forward with all her strength. Her shirt was sloppy against her skin. She was going to do everything to get it back. Regret was hanging over her shoulders. There was so much fumbling above the boat. There was a brief moment where his arms weren't restraining her so tightly. She headed straight for the water. The lean water consumed her. A giant wave of darkness surrounded her completely. A unique glistening of light below her had caught her eye. The vacuous water pulled her body down to the sea's shore. She stood aloof on the sea bottom, smiling as her ring sat before her. She held the precious item in her hand and admired the thought of her husband back on the boat, happy that she retrieved it. Gravity became defective as she began floating upward toward the light above her.

   There was a vast moment where she closed her eyes and her breathing ceased. Ahead of her was nothing, but hope for the best. It felt as if something had hit her upper body three times. She opened her eyes and a small, tan fish put his lips next to her ear and spoke the words "come back to me". In the blink of an eye, that teeny-tiny fish grew to the size of a whale. It held a vengeful look in it's eye as it was the only thing she could see. The rest of it was pitch black, darkness. It swam next to her and it's spotless fin went against the crease of her back. For a good moment she thought she was going to die, but the next minute she was being lifted out of the water.

   A bright light pierced her eyes and the sea was gone from sight. A boy with a greedy smile was posted on a picture on a wall across from her. A cooing was heard from the television across her bed. Her violet nails wrapped around a hand of his. His eyes were tough and his breathing was rough. "You're lucky that I was right behind you. What were you thinking?" She took a deep breath before speaking up, "I was thinking about you. A symbol of our love, gone, I had to get it back." With a face so pale, she was too weak to sit up. He sat sick and held out a small red box. An exciting yet curious emotion ran through her body. She took the box and slowly opened it. She felt ashamed of what he had done. Her dysfunctional heart was selfish. She risked her life for a ring that she believed was the symbol of their relationship, when the symbol was the two of them. The plastic box sat next to her as he slid the ring on her finger. A green plan bushed against the back of her neck. She turned around to a bouquet of flowers placed on the back of her bed. The various colors lit the dull room. His attitude was sassy, but he smiled the whole way through. The ring was acceptable, not like the last one, but anything from him was enough to lift her spirits. Hand in hand he spoke the words, "I love you."

Too Far From Depression

As the leaves blow in the wind singing a song of pain and sorrow, they dance through the night. I sit silently, watching them as they fall and blow away in a dance of illustrious wonder, but I look unto the trees and notice how lonely and cold they have become. The once beautiful branches that use to bare fruits and bring color to the world have now become gloomy, misery-filled faces of what was once summer. I guess this is why they call fall the beginning of eternal rest. It seems so pure. I am surrounded with the beauty of colors. The presence of death still illuminates over the world controlling how we rationalize ourselves and our movements. I have decided to embrace this fate which was brought upon me for there is no escape. We can only postpone the imminent, so instead of living in fear I shall coexist with my insecurities. I spend my night gazing up at the moon until I fall asleep, dreaming only of the comfort which was given to me by the moon and the light in which seems to brighten the world but in truth is as lonely as I am. I await the day when I can share my true feelings with another who understands the loneliness of the moon and watches the dance of sorrow.  I keep hope alive for that day to come and for that reason I am too far away for depression to catch me. I smile because I know that my other half is waiting for me.

A Time To Love

   There was a sticky substance on the tombstone. The day was dark. There was no sound coming from anywhere. Perfect. She sat down above where he had been buried. She chanted quietly. Chanted their love song. She chanted their love song as tears rolled down her face. There, she folded over to have her forehead touch her knees. She cried. 
   The clouds were gray. There was no sound coming from anywhere. She was ready for anything. A light touch grazed her back. Her eyes opened wide before she could lift her head. There he was. He looked back at her smiling. He reached out for her. She reached for his hand and grasped it. The jittery feeling of disbelief filled her lungs. She couldn't say a word. A misty fog surrounded them as an instrumental played softly. He pulled her in close and they danced.     A lightening's roar was heard so loud that it shook the Earth. They danced. She was taken aback by what he was wearing. He wore the necklace she bought him 20 years ago for his birthday. She laid her head on his shoulder. They danced slowly. The roaring never stopped. Lightening flashed in the sky almost every second, making a strobe-like appearance. It shook the Earth a million times harder. Trees fell, buildings collapsed, no one screamed. She closed her eyes as they shared this forever secretive moment. His body looked imaginary as if he was a ghost. She could see right through him. The moment was excellent.
   The ground broke beneath them and she opened her eyes. What had happened could be disagreeable. A new feeling overwhelmed her body as she slowly stood up. A black cat went purring across her path. Something greasy was cold on the left side of her neck. Had she just been delirious this whole time? A corner of her heart was filled with happiness. Only a corner because her love for life had been scarce ever since he died. No one on the Earth could have known her misery.
   The clouds were foamy. There was no sound coming from anywhere. The world was calm. Her heart had been enchanted. She steadily walked back to her wretched life, with nothing but hope for tomorrow.

A Lost Hope

     He stared at her from the far side of the theater. Is she serious? She didn't care what he thought. 

She refused to sit next to him and be pressured. Her fingers clung to the collar of her shirt as she tried not to lose her mind in front of everyone. Should I just go ahead and do it? I don't want him angry at me. Every head in the theater was turned to the screen, enjoying the movie. It's not like they are watching us. I will do this, for him. She turned around. He was gone.

     What did I do?! She quietly made her way out of the theater and out into the hall. There were people going left and right all around her. The smell of buttery popcorn filled the theater. On the far wall to the right of her, there he was leaning against the wall tapping away on his phone. She slowly walked up to him. He didn't notice her standing right next to him. "I'm sorry," she started, "I'm just not comfortable doing things around a lot of people." He put his phone in his pocket before adding his hands. "Look, I don't mean to come off the wrong way, but this isn't working out." "Wait, what?" "I'm sorry," he said, before he kissed her lips and walked away. She stood there. She stood there and stared at the wall. Her heart was so heavy, as if gravity would fall and crush her right there. It's all my fault! If I wasn't so scared! Her breathing deepened and she knew what was happening. She didn't want to cry in front of the random people, but there was nothing holding her tears back. She put her back against the wall, hugged herself, and closed her eyes.

   

Dying For You

     She looked at the letter that she held in her hands. Slowly breaking the seal, she remembered the last time that she received a letter as such. The memories longing unpleasant feelings. 'PARTY AROUND THE BLOCK AT 7 PM. YOU'RE INVITED', the note read. She checked the time on her cell, 6:17. She had an hour to prepare. Her brothers were going to be there, what's the worst that could happen. If she screamed wouldn't someone hear her? It was a street party, out in the open. 

     She arrived with a dress made from white fabric and vivid pink and turquoise zebra printed fabric. Her picky brown hair was neatly braided. Upon arrival, she located one of her brothers in a matter of seconds. She walked straight to him. He was talking on the phone with a cheerful attitude. She stood patiently for a few minutes for him to notice that she was there. He was so into his conversation it's like he forgot he was even on Earth. She felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and a boy with milk chocolate skin, fine, thick black hair standing before her with his arms out. She recognized his face, someone she knew from long ago. "Hey!" She said cheerfully, stepping into his arms. He gave her a soft bear hug. Parting, he rubbed his neck as if he was nervous. "Hold on one moment," she told him. She turned back around to see her brother who still seemed like he didn't even know she was standing there at all. Forget it! She turned around and eyed the boy standing before her. He made a hand gesture, "walk with me."    She followed him through the few people that were around them. "I forgot your name. No offense, you know it's been a long time," he said. His walk... it was so indistinct. She loved it. It was weird, but she loved the way he walked so graceful as if nothing in the world could hurt him. She pondered her thoughts for a few seconds, "I can remember. I know it. What does it start with?" "It starts with a "'K'," he said, eying her. "What's the next letter?" He laughed, "I'm not going to spell out my name for you. It's Kevin though." "Right!" She turned her head so he wouldn't see her blush. He was attacking her, "What's yours?" "Mandy." "Right. Mandy, beautiful name." "Thank you," she said softly. A brown girl with very short, wavy black hair stood with a guy, leaning against a car. She waved at Kevin and he waved back with an awkward smile. "I hate when girls do that," he said, his smile had faded. "What?" "Wave at you when they're with a guy. Making you feel awkward as hell." The couple left. "I did want to hit that though." Did he really just say that in front of me? "I'm sorry, but I have to go now. Nice chatting with you." She began speeding off before she was stopped by someone grabbing her forearm. "Let's go somewhere and talk," he said into her ear. He was so close behind her that she could feel his body heat. She pulled away from Kevin's grasp. "Where to?" He eyed her some more, "Anywhere but here. We can go anywhere you want."

     They sat on the steps of a school's playground. The sky was painted pink and the clouds were drawn orange, it was beautiful. What was even more beautiful was the moment. Kevin could not stand still. Was he nervous? Every time he looked at her she felt like her skin was going to melt off of her bones. They talked for a while before he finally rested next to her. The breeze was chilly even though she put on a sweatshirt, she was still shivering. He was shivering also, though he had on no arm coverage. "I'm cold..." She said. He held out his arms, inviting her in. She was hesitant. He smiled at her shyness, "Want to cuddle?" "Yeah, you can come over here." "No, you come here." Feeling defeated by little of a fight she scooted over and was immediately wrapped up in his warmth. Whenever his hold became lazy she would huff and he would do nothing but squeeze tighter. He would put his head on her shoulder, then she couldn't help but feel the animated slowness of her breath. There was some type of connection going on between them and she loved it. He lifted his head and she turned hers, looking him in the eyes. She could feel the ethereal want between them. Should I kiss him? He bit his lip as she licked hers. Can't have dry lips. "You're mine now," he said, holding a firm grip on her arm. She huffed, "Can I get a say so?" "Yeah, I mean. It's what you want. Yes? No?... Yes?" She just smiled and nodded her head. "Yeah." Even though we just met after 3 years. "Yes!" He said under his breath, punching at the air with a fist. She couldn't help but wonder where he would take her in life. To happiness or misery? Only one way to find out. Right? 
    Her phone vibrated in her pocket and the hold in between them broke once again. She looked at her phone. There was a text from her brother. He couldn't get into the house without her key. "Well, I have to go," she said with a mellow tone. "Yeah," he replied. She began to walk away but stopped. I'm not about to let this moment die. She turned around, "Can I get a kiss?" He shrugged his shoulders, smiling. She bent over to where he sat and she gave him a kiss, but he pulled away in a good two seconds. "Oh, what a kiss," she said in a sarcastic tone. "Oh, you want more?" He pulled her down next to him and just like that her breathing wasn't on its regular tempo. Everything began to slow down. Even her heartbeat. Her eyes closed and the only thing she could feel was her heart pounding.

     She opened her eyes. Holding her brown hand was a chocolate one. She was breathing hard. It's like she hasn't been breathing forever. Her eyes moved over to a handsome figure with a single tear rolling from his right eye. He bit his lip, eyes as if he didn't believe what he was seeing. There they were, in a hospital room. A silent, all white room. There was nothing louder than the sound of their breaths. She slowly sat up, viewing all the wires going around her bed. He did nothing but stared. He held her hand in the tightest grip. "Ouch!" She tried to say, but her voice was painfully hoarse. "Shh. Don't speak," he said. Tears formed in her eyes as she reached over to hug him. She hugged him like she haven't seen him in forever. "What happened?" She whispered into his ear. "I'm sorry," was all he said.

Change of Heart (The Dangers of Online Dating)

   The words on the sunny screen stimulated through her mind as she read them with a huge smile decked across her lit face. Their wondrous relationship wasn't created by a mutual attempt, but rather on looks and personality. He initiated contact with her, never before seeing her in his life. It's hard to track where these substantial feelings emerged, but it was definitely on sight of her beautiful profile picture.
   They had been talking nonstop on-line for a month and he initiated an eventful plan for them to meet in town. This steadily built as relationship between them was stuck inside of her head and she half-heartedly agreed. What really motivated her was the heart-throbbing image of him on the screen. Would this meeting really enlighten her spirits even more?
   She entered the elegant mall and looked around for him. He proposed that they go to the movies, to check out a new cheap comedy. She visited the productive theater, but he wasn't there. Before she turned around her eyes made contact with a strange middle aged man sitting close to the corridor. The man was fearful and dark in spirit. He commenced to walk toward her as she began to quickly walk away. He mastered the act in following her around the mall. She waited around a crowded area for a text or even a call from him to notify that he was there.
   Her attention drew to a beautiful bracelet that illustrated her favorite color in an abstract pattern. She recalled the time her ex boyfriend bought her a ludicrous bracelet similar to the one she was seeing. Her eyes render to the left of her as the anxious man walked inside of the shop. She maximized her distance from him. Maybe he isn't following her, maybe it's just a coincidence that they are going to the same place. A huge scene isn't really necessary, it's not like he is harming me. She was his coordinated target, but she was unaware. She looked at the time. One hour and no contact from him. Now she feels that she has been stood up. She decides to call him and if he doesn't answer, leave him a heavy hearted message. She called and detected a quizzical ring tone coming from behind. He picked up and as he spoke, a substitute voice came from near. She turned around and studied the overconfident man on the phone. He emphasized the dilemma and greeted her with his brave eyes. She related to the message and ran out of the mall.

Silent Creep

   She sat on the deckchair underneath the shade with her nose in her book. It was a good book by her favorite author Noire. Her feet were propped upon another chair to get some sun.
   He walked around the corner and was taken aback at what he had seen on the deck. He backed up as soon as he saw her. Peeping around the corner he just admired her beauty.
   She picked up her lemonade and took a sip. She drew on a disgusted face. Perhaps too much sugar? Too less? She got up and headed inside for the kitchen with the glass.
   He walked forward a bit. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Down he fell! He tripped over a flower pot! He quickly got up and ran to the front of the yard.
   She headed back to the deck wondering what that sound was. She took a glance from around the wall, searching for clues. Nothing. She headed for the front window.
   He sat behind a bush tending to the scrape through his jeans. He fell hard on the pavement. He shouldn't have been back there. He better go before anyone sees him snooping. He turned around to find her staring down at him. She blocked his path with both hands on her hips.
   She looked at him, curious to his purpose being there. He looked hurt. She knelt down to take a look. There was blood through his jeans.
   He followed her into the house. He watched as she retrieved a band-aid from a drawer and a paper towel. She wiped the blood and put on a band-aid.
   She was admiring how cute he was. He was chunky with a pretty face. Maybe they could become friends.
   He reached out a hand for her to shake as a thank you. She took his hand and swiftly pulled back. His palm was sweaty. He was so nervous that he couldn't keep a steady pace of breath.
   She watched as he headed for the door. She watched the stiff way he walked. He didn't even say good-bye.

Pieces of Me

     Everyday she takes a short visit to the greenhouse. Her own plants at home are dead. Every single one she has ever received in her life is dead. She thought that she knew how to care for them, she had too much pride in herself to looks for others' guidance. She over watered, and sometimes they just dehydrated. She left them sitting on her windowsill for the sunlight. Maybe she should have left them outside where they belonged to catch that natural rain.
     She gently touched a petal on a moons-flower. It was so beautiful. Of course its appearance drew her attention, much unlike the Bearded Iris. She's a woman of beauty herself. There are rare occasions that she turn heads walking the streets. Otherwise she always thinks that the men are just too shy to come talk to her or acknowledge her.
   
     He doesn't speak to her anymore. He doesn't even notice her presence, or he purposely ignores her. Just like she does to him every once in a while. She did that to quite a few of him with no explanation. She thought that she knew how to treat him. Be herself. The dos and the don'ts. She never looked for advice. Her friend's tried to help her, but they only seemed to be insulting her capabilities. Their opinions only went through one ear out the other. She'd love with her whole heart at the start and slowly begin to forget to appreciate. She'd figure that since she was being herself that their relationship would die, he would love another. Maybe it wasn't meant to be, she should set him free. There is someone out there for she. It's just not he.

Cramps of the Agony

     With a swift swing it shattered. Glass rained from the platform. Everything was moving in slow motion. I knew what was to come. Punishment. Voices chanted in harmony around me. The distraught looks on their faces made the feeling even worse. Around the corner she walked. Her gaze ran instantly onto the floor. There was a monstrous look upon her face. My breath was buried beneath the surface. I gasped as I could not exhale. My face was scorned by her. The feeling wasn't pleasant. Fingers were all pointed at me. She grabbed me and pulled me away into her threshold.